Last week we spent time dissecting the elements of the essay, with particular emphasis on the introduction and topic sentences. Many of you noted you had some breakthroughs, even epiphanies at this time. I want to hear about it.
Post 1: Tell me what you learned during this workshop. Please be specific: what you thought and what you know know. Please also tell me the next area you would like to turn our attentions.
Post 2: Please respond to another classmate's post.
As always, posts must evidence authenticity, reflection and original thought. Please spend some time with this.(20 points)
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During the workshop, I felt I had a much better understanding of not only how important topic sentences are, but also how they can determine how the rest of your essay and paragraphs tie together. Before, my topic sentences were a little bit random because I was over thinking them instead of making them logical, clear, and having them connect with my thesis. For the essay we turned in yesterday, I felt that my whole essay was much more organized and I followed my thesis statement a lot more Also, by using topic sentences that related to my thesis, I was able to easily tie my body paragraphs together, making it easier to refer back to my thesis and make major connections. Also, although it wasn't part of the introduction and topic sentences workshops, I felt that going through our essays in class looking for gerunds, any form of the verb "to be", and first person, I actually took the time to scan my essay more thoroughly. For the next essay I think that a workshop on how to write a conclusion would help me tons. Now that I have a much better understanding of the intro, knowing how to write a proper conclusion would tie my entire essay together.
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ReplyDeleteLast week during the workshop I learned a lot. The introduction walk-through really helped me to know how to right an intro. I had never really gotten advice on how an intro was supposed to be written. The funnel really helped me to form the bulk of my intro and made me feel confident in my work because I knew I was doing something right. Then the work we did on Thesis's really helped me. I could connect my thesis to the prompt and the rest of my paragraph to my Thesis. I am glad we dedicated the time to this! The next thing I think we should focus on is the Conclusion and more on topic sentences.
ReplyDeleteIn this workshop I learned how to improve my introduction in my essays. I learned about different ways of hooking the reader so that my essay seems more interesting than boring. Before this workshop, my introductions were boring and I did not understand how to hook the reader like I do now. This has improved my introductions greatly, making me more confident when it comes to writing an introduction which is a huge part of the essay because it shows what I will be talking about and makes it more interesting. I would like to focus on conclusions next because I do not feel as confident with conclusions as I do with other parts of an essay. This would help greatly so that I know in more detail, what I am supposed to say in a conclusion instead of just summarizing what I said in the essay.
ReplyDeleteI completely agrea on what Sam said about working on the Conclusion because an essay is all about a strong final say and most people probably do not know how to do that, (at least I don't). I also agree with Sam on the topic sentences because those helped me to form my essay together and keep it connected and fluent.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Sam that we should focus on conclusions for our next essay. Conclusions help end our essays with a good note instead of having a good essay with a bad conclusion. This would dissapoint the reader since it is what summarizes what happens in the essay; like an ending for a movie.
ReplyDeleteThe introduction was a main focus of this week and I believe I learned a lot more about intros, as well as how to stick on the topic of your thesis. This week was incrediablly useful and I am hoping it shows in my essay grade! Learning that the Intro should be writen last, I think is what ultimately improved my essay. Using the "funnel" and constantly changing everything in the intro made an obvious improvement on the whole essay. I feel like we have a pattern when it comes to working on our essays; we first worked on the body paragraghs which is what uses the most work and is practically the entire essay, then we worked on the intro this week in the workshop which sets the stage of the entire essay, so finally I believe we should work on our conclusions! This was my favorite week of writing workshop because I learned how to fix a lot of my mistakes of getting off track.
ReplyDeleteBefore this workshop, I completely thought that topic sentences were supposed to be universal. No idea how I got through Ms. Cobb last year with that idea. I must have been delusional! Now I have a much better understanding of what a topic sentence is supposed to be. I also learned to really focus on relating my topic sentences to my thesis statement, while also making it persuasive- a bit tricky, but I think I have the hang of it now. My introduction style last year in english 9 honors was using the quote, but as the year went on it got a bit trickier to do- this year, without even realizing it, I began using the funnel from the first essay we ever wrote in this class. It is nice to know there is a name for my strategy. I learned very much from this worshop- mostly how to write a topic sentence! The next area I would like to focus on would be how to stick to the main point in the topic sentence throughout the entire paragraph; though I am getting better at this I still find myself once in a while sitting there going "What was I trying to prove??".
ReplyDeleteI agree with Kenneth because I do think that we should learn how to write better conclusions that can connect better with the rest of the essay. If you start your essay great but end it on a bad note, the reader might have been bored by then, which is not good. If we could make are conclusions more exciting and having the reader want more, than I think we should leard how we can make that possible! :D
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jessica- if you start off your essay on a great note but end with a terrible conclusion, that is what the reader is going to be left with, its like the final impression of your paper and is the last part of your essay the reader sees before you get graded. If you start off with an excellent argument and introduction, but you cannot support that, your essay is not all that great...I think a conclusion should almost be stronger, if not just as strong, as the rest of your essay and your argument.
ReplyDeleteI think everything we have learned has helped us write an essay. I don't remember ever having been taught HOW to write an essay, I was only told to DO it. I was told to write an intro with three statements in them and then prove them in my three body paragraphs. And then I had a conclusion to sum everything upp .
ReplyDeleteBut we have learned what the intro must have; we must have our universal statement (important) with absract (not concrete) nouns. In the body, we must begin our paragraphs with a statement that will not only say what the paragraph will be about, but must also be relevant to the thesis we made earlier! I can't say we've worked too much on the conclusion, but I suppose we'll be moving on to that next. The things we have learned so far will be a great help in the future. I also think that we should start on the conclusion. This would help us summarize our whole essay, leaving the reader glad that he had just read the essay from top to bottom (maybe not top but definately bottom) and let him/her remember it with a "punch in the face" (It's what I call the final sentence)
I also agree with Kenneth's statement saying that the topic sentence make the essay connect together, and this is important because it's a bit like a book, you've got the pages but they can't be connected without the spine. And if your pages are all scattered and unorganized, you're not going to like how you read the book (which is pretty much saying that it would be an essay that doesn't prove itself or is plain old bad.)
ReplyDeleteAnd the funnel also helped me gradually move in towards my thesis. It is also a decent way to keep your reader's attention!
During the workshop, I learned the mechanics of writing a good introduction paragraph, and that the introduction parargraph can be written after the rest of the essay. Also, I learened the different formats of an introduction, such as the funnel, quesiton, and quote formats, that help me structure my intruductory paragraph better. After reading the comments on my Hero's Journey essay, I learned to work on the essay's matter, that is, link the essay to the thesis. The citation session and information on the website was helpful, and the debates over Odysseus and Achilles gave me some great ideas for evidence. Like Julian said, we should work on the introduction, since the content covered in the conlusion is still quite unclear. Nevertheless, after the workshop, I feel much better about my essay.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Alissa's statement that topic sentences should not be universal. In some of my paragraphs in preceding essays, my topic sentences were universal truths mildly related to the thesis. Then, my paragraphs would go on to give examples of phenomenon in the lives of literary characters. This combination is not effective in proving the thesis, since it is impossible to link so many ideas and still expect the reader to understand.
ReplyDeleteDuring last week’s workshop I learned a lot. I had never gotten complete instruction on how to write an introduction. I learned many different ways of hooking the reader into my essay. Before the workshop I always used a quote but never talked about it again. Using the funnel in my intro helped me a lot to start with a hook and narrow in on my thesis. Next I would like to work on my conclusions. Now that I have a strong introduction I need a strong way to end my essay with a memorable conclusion.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jessica, we need to work on our conclusions next. The last thing that sticks in the readers head is the conclusion. If an essay is beautifully written and the conclusion is weak, all they will remember is how bad the conclusion was not how nicely the essay was put together.
ReplyDeleteLast week, I learned many elements about essays that I did not know before. One of the many that helped my recent essay and will help the essays yet to come is the many techniques of an introduction paragraph. The intro is the first paragraph that a reader will read and if it does not draw the person’s attention, then the rest of the essay will surely bore them as well. So, I learned that techniques such as the Funnel and “Anecdote-Opening” will grab my reader’s interest and will show them how the rest of my essay is formatted too. I also learned that my hook should never ever be a yes/no question. If the answer is no, the reader will put my essay down right away, and work on something else. Last week helped me a great deal on my introductions.
ReplyDeleteI was never taught how an intoduction is supposed to be written in that much detail. The information gave me a better idea of what is supposed to be in the introduction. It also gave me formats for the intro. We also spent time on topic sentences. My topic sentences before have been facts not opinions and the workshop helped me fix them. the workshop helpes me write my essay a lot. I would like to turn our attention to Say mean matters and conclusions. Most of the class has trouble saying why the information matters and a workshop might help. Personally I have trouble writing conclusions and I need a lot of help on them.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Julien. Before, everytime a teacher told us to write an essay, they did not tell us how to. They said to put together one and turn it in. This had definitely helped me on how to write better introductions. I know that I must convey a very clear cut message in it and that clear message must include an abstract now. Plus, the first sentence of this paragraph must be relevant to my topic and must be brought up again during the course of my writing. I do not think that we really separate time for conclusions, however, because we have already worked on the inros. Conclusions are basically exactly what is written in the first paragraph but it is just worded differently.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Julien. Most essays teachers just give us the topics and then move on. It helps a lot when the teacher explains what the topic is and what we should put in our essay which is what we did in class. My previous teachers never acually explain what to put in an intro but with what we leaned i know what to put in now. I also agree with Sam because I think most people are very weak with a conclusion and a workshop will greatly improve most people's essays.
ReplyDeleteDuring this workshop I learned the key elements to include in an essay introduction. I also learned what not to put into an introduction. This workshop helped me learn new ways in which to plan my essay, and provide structure for it, i.e. the funnel. During this workshop I also improved upon my topic sentences. This activity really helped me overcome topic sentences. Before this activity, I had much different standards for introductions and topic sentences, but now I understand how the English 10 Honors course at ESHS would like topic sentences to be and also the same with introductions. This is how I will write them from now on. Next I would like to work upon matter in our essays.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Derek; I need help with conclusions also. Also, this workshop gave me a better idea of what is supposed to be in an introduction. I too have also made my topic sentences facts and not opinions before.
ReplyDeleteDuring this workshop i received excellent feedback. I learned what to and what not to place in an introduction and it clearly showed in my writing. I feel that my introduction and evidence was stronger this time around. last time i did not stick to the prompt because i had too many ideas that it was random. On this essay i made a clear chart and put my evidence and comments on it for each paragraph. I still need more matter in my essays; however, i have improved.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Alex because i learned different types of introductions. The ultimate goal is to no loose the reader on your introduction because hat is your grabber. To make it easier the introduction can be written after the rest of the essay because then you know all of your facts and points you will be proving. Like Alex i have learned to work on my matter because with out deep analysis it can be hard to persuade the reader.
ReplyDeleteDuring the workshop, I learned about what to do and not what to do in a introduction paragraph. I always had trouble with introduction paragraphs until I learned that I could use the funnel. A broad universal statement then narrow it down to what your essay is about then your thesis statement. And the background on the thesis about where when and the emotion setting of what your essay is about. I always did just the background of the character or characters I would be writing about. I also learned what not to do in a introduction paragraph. For example, ask a yes or no question or a clique question. The introduction should not have been a book report introduction. It would be boring and ruin the first impression to the audience. I thought it helped me out a lot to learn about what to do and not to do in the intro. The next area I think we should turn out attention to is sticking to the prompt. I believe that is very important to learn because most of the kids that write essays somehow foil themselves as they are writing the essay.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Kallyn. On this essay I got great feedback whether it be from my friends that edit my paper to being lectured about what to do on an essay. I also agree that last time I wrote the hero essay, I did not stick to the prompt or restated it.
ReplyDeleteI must say that this workshop was, for me, the most informational and helpful yet. You, Ms. Gerber, always say that when the writer does not hook you in their introduction paragraph, you no longer are interested in reading the work. I believe that when I used to write my essays, Ms. Gerber was no longer interested in reading the work. However, now, I believe that, that problem has been solved thanks to the writers workshop. In this workshop, I learned how to write an introduction using the style of my liking. Personally, I like the funnel style the best because when I read a funnel style introduction out loud, it has a smooth flow. Next, I would like to turn my attentions to the S/M/M format within the body paragraphs. I say this because on every essay I have received back, it says "wheres the matter?" I am tired of seeing that on my paper and that is why I believe we should work on this area next.
ReplyDeleteI agree what with Jessica said 100 percent. I forgot to mention it in my post, but writing the introduction paragraph last helped tremendously. It bettered my essay while at the same time it decreased the amount of time it took me to complete the work! We also agreed on that this week was our favorite writers workshop yet. Good job Ms. Gerber!
ReplyDeleteThis workshop helped my essay in a tremendous way. I think I had an epiphany because while I was writing my first draft, I realized how simple it was to create a thesis statement and explain it and go into more depth with the topic sentences. I now understand why you, Ms. Gerber, have been telling us constantly to make our theses simpler!!I now understand the meaning of a "statement", and the topic sentences are meant for explanatory purposes, and THAT is why you say that those sentences must relate to the thesis! It all makes sense to me now and I am so relieved! Since that is all cleared up, I now am going to turn my focus to the S/M/M aspect of my work. I am imagining myself doing SMM's prior to writing my essays, and realizing how much easier I am making my life. All I would have to do is plug in what I said in the matter and there you go, a paragraph! Not only am I concerned about the "make my life easier" part, but also digging deeper into the matter might also help me prove a point that I make in my essays.
ReplyDeleteI agree with what Kallyn said, because I received great feedback as well! This shows me that the students not only improved in their work but they also improved in helping people with their work. I personally LOVE peer editing- some people may take things offensively but I believe in constructive criticism. I also agree with what Kallyn said about not sticking to the prompt. Last time, I had so many ideas that I just threw them all around my body paragraphs that as I read aloud my work, I was going off on a tangent! Also, something I forgot to mention in post one is that the graphic outline helped me so much! It forced me to be more organized with my thoughts, which was also a problem of mine.
ReplyDeleteLast week was so helpful! We learned about the introduction paragraph and all the different techniques. I realized that I use the funnel a lot without even knowing it so I felt more aware of what I was doing when I wrote my new introduction paragraph. The thing that helped me most, though, was working with topic sentences. On the last essay, I got marked down for all my topic sentences being universal, so this time I made it an opinion and opening to my body paragraphs. I connected it to my thesis, as well. My main focus was stop summarizing and start analyzing! I didn't put 100% effort into that particularly but I feel I did a MUCH better job with it. :)
ReplyDeleteI COMPLETELY agree with Danielle! I feel like everything is starting to connect for me and it's a feeling of relief. Now I just need to pay attention to the matter for the evidenced I put forth. It's the digging deep and the analyzing that is hard. Now that everything else around that is so simple life is so much easier! :D
ReplyDeleteDuring our workshop last week I learned what a great introduction should look like. I was never clear on how an introduction should be written. I believed that introductions where just a summery of the topic my essay was wrong. I learned that the introduction is supposed to tell was the essay is going to be about, especially talk about the abstract noun the essay is focusing on. I also learned that there are different ways to write an introduction. The technique I liked the most was the funnel, because I like the idea of starting off with a broad statement then narrowing it down to the specific topic. I would like to focus on the conclusion next time, because I always feels that once I get to the conclusion there is nothing left to say any I am just repeating myself.
ReplyDeleteDuring the workshop that we had I learned how to write an introduction paragraph. I learned the different methods that is best like the funnel and the question. I personally like the funnel because I can start with something basic and branch out into the specific topic/ thesis. I also learned how tow write a topic sentence, I learned that topic sentences are not universal, but that they are opinions. Next I would like to focus on the TlQ. I still have trouble with incorporating the say, mean, and matter correctly, either that or I just am not confident enough with what I want to say in the matter.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you Danielle. The thesis statements are much easier to understand when they are less complex. It makes the essay easier to write because then I know what to focus on. I also agree on the topic sentence's that they are meant for opinions to start off your paragraph. The workshops helped for my organization of my essay and the peer editing helped me to take out the jerrands.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Danielle completely. I feel like my essays are starting to just make sense. I have learned that thesis does not have to be that complex, it just has to get the idea across to the readers. The simpler the thesis statement is the easier it is to write the essay. It is all really starting to come together and make sense.
ReplyDeleteDuring the workshop last week, I feel I improved most with my introduction paragraph. I have always used the same old style in my essays, and this opened my eyes to much easier ways to start of an
ReplyDeleteessay. I also learned how to successfully remove any traces of "Is",
along with other easy to miss essay wreckers. What I think I must turn my attention to is planning my essay structure and my "Matter", both of which need work. I also need to keep all of the ideas in my body paragraphs separate, because I feel a few of my paragraphs had interchangeable parts.
Last week during the workshop, I realized how many minor mistakes I make that contribute to my grade. If I hadn't realized the toll that simple words like "is" take on my essay, I simply wouldn't be improving my writing. From the workshop last week, I came to realize that writing an essay is difficult, but if you work at it part by part they come together easily and flow. The most beneficial advice I received from the workshop was working on the introduction paragraph. From the many different styles of writing an introduction paragraph, I could perfect how I wanted mine to come across. I learned the different techniques of incorporating an idea throughout and I am glad that last weeks workshop was so helpful. The next aspect of essay writing that I would like to focus on is the matter of the say/mean/matter. I have always had trouble digging deeper past the obvious, so I would like to focus on that.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Danielle.
ReplyDeleteI also felt like all the pieces were coming together while writing my final draft. All the little things seemed to click together, and I believe they formed an successful essay. It made my work infinitely more manageable and unbelievably simple. I felt like everything was starting to come together in a symphony of ideas, rather than just an intro and a conclusion with some writing in between.
I would have to say that I agree with Casey on her conclusions. I tend to have a problem of adding new ideas into the conclusion, which I shouldn't or repeating themes that I discussed earlier on. I have to learn to make a general statement regarding everything I have talked about in my essay, and then make sure it relates back to my thesis. On top of that, I have to make sure it finishes off the essay, and argues my point of view. I also agree with Casey's old interpretation of what a introduction was, but now I have learned that is an informational guide and "opener" to the rest of my essay.
ReplyDeleteI learned many things during the introduction paragraph workshop. I was never formally taught what was supposed to go in the introduction paragraph, now that I know what is supposed to go into it; it makes it easier to write. I learned that it is best to write the introduction paragraph last so you are not set to certain topics, so you have room for change throughout the essay. I learned different methods for the introduction paragraph such as the funnel method which is my personal favorite, it makes it easy to write an introduction paragraph because you can make a broad statement and then refine it more and more until u have your thesis. I thought all it was was a filler paragraph to loosely explain what your essay was about. Now I know that the introduction is extremely important because it hooks the reader and it makes a clear argument early in the paper. I think that the next area we should turn our attention to is the conclusion paragraph. The conclusion paragraph is important because it gives closure; it ties up the loose ends and combines all the body paragraphs.
ReplyDeleteI learned much in our workshops, especially in how to include evidence in paragraphs to persuade the reader. I learned that proper evidence is the key to getting a good grade on an essay, which is what I tried to focus on in this essay. Also, I learned how to revisit my thesis throughout the essay. By learning how to do this, I believe I did even better on this essay than on my previous one. Revisting the thesis shows the reader that the writer can relate to the thesis and that the thesis statement is being used. The next area I would like to focus our attentions is how to funnel an essay. I do not believe that I accomplished this, so I think I will need to be re-taught the material.
ReplyDeleteI agree with my super duper awesome best friend, Mr. Daniel Alejandro Rodriguez. I also think that learning how to write a better introduction would help me a lot in writing my next essay. To agree with him, I think we should spend more time working on the introduction. Ms G rocks the house that rocks the partay that rocks the partay next door to Daniel Rodriguez!!
ReplyDeleteI agree with kallyn, in the workshop I got a lot of feedback on what I was doing wrong. I also agree with her becuase she said that we learned what to put in our essay and what not to put in our essays witch is true. Before the workshop I was not sure on the components of the introductory paragraph and now I know.
ReplyDeleteduring the workshops, i learned many different things that i previously did not know. for example i never realized that there were different types of introduction paragraphs. i used to think there was only a standard way to write but now i learned of the new methods like the funnel.i also learned what not to do when writing a topic sentence. i used to make them universal but now i know thta they have to be an oppinion.the next area i would like to work on would be the concluding paragraphm that is the area that i feel most uncomfortable writing.
ReplyDeletei agree with daniel when he says that learning how to write an intro can make it easier to write the rest of your essay. i also aggreed with andrew when he says that we learned how to gather evidence. now that we learned that gathering eevidence is the most important part of the essay. it gives me a new focus point in my writing now.
ReplyDeleteLast week during the workshops, i learned that i was doing my introductions completely wrong! i used to give a summary of the book or movie or whatever i was talking about, this was called the book report intro. I learned to start with a broad statement and to slowly refine the sentences into what i was actually talking about. i still ended up not liking my intro, but i was definitely more confident. I started with a broad but meaningful question and then slowly transitioned. the next subject id like to focus on is the conclusion, because i had no idea what to include. I sort of just recapped and added some interesting facts that were not quite relevant to what i was trying to prove.
ReplyDeletei liked what kendall said because i too never used a hook. Now that you made me feel bad about my previous writing, i will know to use one from now on to avoid such embarrassment. I also agree that the funnel is the bomb. i attempted to use it, but i think i could use practice. Although i said i need practice, please do not interpret that as a request for more essays, thank you.
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ReplyDeleteI was first off very pleased when I notcied that the workshops focused on the areas that I needed most help on: topic sentences and the introduction. I have to say that I was mostly helped with the introduction workshop. The part where you had "what NOT to do" was everything that I usually used in my introduction. I thought it was funny how you said you hate dictionaries because my original introduction was basically all defintions from the internet about what a hero is defined as. I also learned another valuable tip: save the intro. until the body paragraphs are finished. This was very helprful because all I had to do was base my intro off of what I wrote in my body paragraphs, instead of vice-versa. the topic sentences workshop was also a great help. I realized that topic sentences are not hard at all, all you have to do is add some opinion into it, and not make them universal! This essay had the best workshops so far, hands down. My next area of focus would have to be the conclusion because I struggled to fill up space,and I think i repeated everything that I put into my intro, just changed some words =/
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with Benjamin about understanding so much more about how to write an introduction, and how to nail topic sentences. I also agree that the conclusion is definitely the next area of improvement the class needs to work on.
ReplyDeleteThe workshop last week benefited me so much. I learned what an introduction paragraph actually is and what the purpose of it is. I used to think that it is meant to tell the background of the books one has read. I also thought that one is supposed to start of specific and then go general. I have been writing my introduction paragraphs incorrectly for the past two years! I believe that this introduction paragraph that I turned in, will be my best one yet. I learned that the intro is not only about the background, but it is also about introducing ideas too. This was helpful because it made connecting the thesis and my ideas easy. Also, finally learning that the funnel method is supposed to go from general to specific made much more sense. I think the next focus area should be on conclusions. Now that all the topic sentences and intro paragraphs are better, the conclusion needs help.
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree with Sarah. When she says that replacing "is" can make the essay flow much easier. If the right words are found to replace "is", it really helps the simple mistakes in the essay too. I did not realize it, until Sarah said that the next focus area should be the say/ mean/ matter. I agree with that 100 percent. Matter is more important than anything to me in the bosy paragraph, so that will definitely be useful.
ReplyDeleteAlexander Hoover: I was helped so much by the workshop. I learned how there are many ways to structure an introductory paragraph, and that there are more specific intro's for more specific essays. I thought an intro was supposed to give a background for what is going on, and what will be explained in the essay. My next area that i would like to improve is my conclusion. For some reason I find my conclusions lacking the proper sentence structure to actually wrap up the essay.
ReplyDeleteDuring the past couple of weeks I definitely leaned a lot on how I can improve my writing. I think it was very helpful to fully analyze and spends lots of time going over what was expected out of the prompt and looking at both sides of the possible arguments. In past essays I have not always been responsive, but I think in this essay because we were able to spend more time with the rule of 5 and other constructive critical writing techniques I was able to have a better grasp on what I was going to be arguing. During the workshop I even changed which side I was on because we spent so much time looking at evidence which made it easier to ultimately prove my point. I think spending so much time going over the prompt and the Iliad made for more arguementive essays. I think that because the essays now had a more firm foundation, that also made for better thesises which had also been one of my weak points.
ReplyDeleteMadeline Dunton
I agree with what Andrew said about having good evidence. I think that the workshop gave us plenty of ways to outlet our thoughts through providing evidence. I also learned to revisit my thesis throughout my essay like Andrew said and to incorporate my thesis into my topic sentences so that the whole essay stays relevent and not completely random.
ReplyDeleteMadeline Dunton
I agree with Kallyn because she said that she needs to work more on the matter of a piece of evidence, as do I. I think that working on the matter and the conclusion of an essay would be great to focus on next. I also agree with Madeline when she says that going over both pieces of work we were taking evidence from was helpful. I liked that we got to see both sides to each hero, which not only helped me to make sure of the hero I picked, but also have different arguments for the reason they are a hero.
ReplyDeleteAlexander Hoover: I agree with Grace. That part mentioning what to not do was very helpful, I would have added a few times on the list if i had not been told otherwise. I also found the topic sentence reveiw helpful.
ReplyDeleteDeni Danny Sahbegovic Despotovic here:
ReplyDeleteAlthough my arrogance will never let me admit such a statement of humility, I will accept the fact that the workshop did give me a whole new insight on creating works of art in essays. Particularly, the help I got for creating an intro paragraph cannot be thanked enough even with a million 'thank yous'. Although my writing is always bound to be a masterpiece of some sort, my intros usually weakened my essays with inconsistency to the related topic. If the thesis statement cannot be revisited, all hope is lost. The funnel technique helped me with creating an universal statement, then narrowing down to specific points. From now on, that is how I shall continue my intros. As for what areas I need to work on, I have none. The intro was all I needed to finally write better essays than I already can write.
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ReplyDeleteI agree with Julien's statement of teachers not teaching how to make an essay. He made a valid point on how teacher nowadays just tell the students to DO the essay instead of TEACHING them HOW to do an essay. The lost art of writing is shameful, to say the least. Hordes of fellow peers always complain that their teachers do not teach them the fundamentals of writing. If Honors classes can teach this, so should regular ones. It is UNFAIR how they are the ones missing out on making essays. This is what we need to learn for our future! Jobs depend on academic quality and quantities of it!
ReplyDeleteMy point is: we need to have these types of workshops help not just us as an Honors class, but for every student in the entire school and, most importantly and ultimately, the entire world. Without these necessary tools... the art of literature and composition is lost forever. We need to perserve that history.
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ReplyDeleteDuring this workshop I learned the specific types of intros, which will be helpful to constructing a good one. I also found the disection of the Odyssey to be helpful to find evidence to supporting one's argument. It is an activity I plan to actively use in future papers to find ample examples to proves my thesis. The Ms. G rule of 5 also proves almost necessary to creating a good thesis to prove. I still believe my thesises need work, and practicing this process, I believe will help me considerably.
ReplyDelete-sarah manning
I relate to Natneal's past problems with not knowing the structure of an introduction and what it really should consist of. Though many people on here believe that conclusions something we should work on, I think that matter is a bigger problem that we should work on
ReplyDelete-sarah manning
During this workshop I learned that introduction paragraphs should be written in like funnel. They should begin with a very general statement and breakdown into more specific statements. A thesis is very easy to write as long as it is kept simple and does not have many layers.
ReplyDeleteI can definitely realate with what Anisha said because I have also been writing my introductions that wrong way for two years too. I thought that you had to be specific then general also.
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